December 2017 has been a busy and stressful month, mostly because of work also a lot of retrospection, of the year 2017, of the 22 years of my life. What has struck me the most are that I have come to realise that most fickle parts of our lives are the people in it, or at least that has been in my case.
No matter how hard you try to keep someone close, even if you change yourself completely to suit them, they will leave, even if there is no explainable or even inexpiable reason, they will. Sometimes there just comes this distance between people which just can’t be bridged at the moment, some people are just there, juggling between active and passive roles in your life. Then, there will be people, who clearly leave, absent for stretched times, and then when you have finally stopped thinking about them, they will come back. Dropping a bomb, and causing a disruption all over again, and you let them, only to allow them to go again and then every next time they come back, you trust them a little less than the last time.
Undeniably the people who leave and the comeback cause the most damage, but then there is this some kind of settlement in your heart, that they come back, even though they leave, they come back because either they care or feel your absence in their lives.
However, the most difficult to deal with or painful to deal with are the people who are remain active or passive on their own moods without any fault or effect of your own, or just on the basis of their mood, or they go passive because in their mind they think that you have done something to offend them. These are the people you never know how to act around and how much you can rely on them. These are the people who somehow manage to hurt your sense of entitlement. These people get so much power only because you care about them and they know that, and they know their power.
Then there is this one kind of people, who always act the victim. They make you feel guilty about yourself, their sly comments make you feel that you are too much, but these are the people who are afraid to accept their true feelings to themselves, but will make you feel that something is wrong with you and will always play the victim card, and yet would never make the first move and will still blame you for leaving.
And then there are some people who manage to creep in your life unexpectedly, you don’t like them at first, probably even dislike them a lot, but then gradually you see through them and they become people who are more constant than a lot more other people in your life and gradually you really start valuing them, surprising yourself while at it.
No matter what kind of people you have right now, were these the people who were these at the same way in your life, five years ago or will they be in the same way five years from now? Well, I know that most of the things change in a five year span, but don’t we all hope, that of all things, at least people in our life don’t change. Well, luckily some stay, I have had people stay in my life for more than 18 years, just that their closeness has definitely changed!